For Good.

As I am I listening to this song ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzrGFQysfYU&feature=fvwrel ) I can't help but think of my "Homegirls"! In the picture above is Ellie, I met her at Snow College my first year there, she has been such an amazing example in my life, she is the first person that took me to church since I had stopped going when I was 11, it wasn't her throwing it down my throat as it had been done before it was just a simple invite. She shared her testimony with me on several occasions and I still can remember the strong spirit that was present. Ellie and I had one whole semester with just me and her, she showed me how to cook and clean (Ryan thanks you). She and I got pregnant at the same time and had our daughters one day apart. She is so amazing I can't even express how much she means in my life. I will never forget all the positive she showed me about life, she changed me for good because I know her!
These are the Homegirls, so many memories with each of them. Sarah, also met her my first year, then I was her roommate the second year(she loved my lamp, just ask her and Typon), she is one of the strongest, sweetest girls I know. She helped me through a rough part in my life, without judgement(even when I was completely CRAZY), I know that no matter what she is there for me. I have been change for good, because I know her.

Shalie, the craziest, funniest girl ever. We share a deep love of music, always jamming out, even when her CD player got stolen out of her car, boombox all the way to Blanding!! She is always smiling and wanting to have fun in any situation I know that she will think of something wonderful in it! Happy Feet six times?!? ok.... Ni Nove Nou!! I have been changed for good, because I know her!

Nik Nak, All I want for Christmas is You, sung at the top of our lungs all across Snow Campus!! I think she still has a wonderful dance video that we all made one late late night, thanks Red ha ha! I have been changed for good, because I know her.

Hayley!!! She is my roommate from my first year at College, and I know that without her I wouldn't have made it that year!! She is from my hometown and I think I talked to her a handful of times through out High School and then we got this brilliant idea to be roommate, best choice EVER!!! Hayley and I shared so many experiences, she is the first person that I went clubbing with, even in a snow storm and a 360 on the freeway!! Helping out neighbors use there milk and cereal before it went bad...ha ha!! Hayley and I had so many sleep overs cause we would get scared, she made me feel at home!! I have been changed for good, because I know her!

I love each of these girls more than memories or words could ever communicate. I think of them always, and I know that even though we don't talk every day that they love me and will always be apart of my life! Thank you all for the wonder examples and the friendship that you have so graciously given me. I love you!

Finley will randomly put this tutu on over whatever she is wearing and just tromp around the house! Its so cute.

New things that have happened in our family, we moved, yet again!! But we moved to an area that we LOVE!! Daybreak, its such a cute community. My family was so amazing, top notch is my mom, she came up to take care of me after my surgery and packed up my whole house, she is amazing!! My surgery was elective, one that I have wanted forever!! Got my boobs done! It was a lot more painful than I thought but except for being bruised and my underarm's being in pain still they are WONDERFUL!! I have been really really bummed about not being able to get pregnant, and as my girl Hayley pointed out well at least now you have twins!! I am still trying to be positive about the whole thing, but it gets hard that we conceived so easily with Finley and now its impossible! We have been looking into adoption or foster care, we really want another child and for Finley to have a sibling. Ryan is such an amazing dad and he truely deserves more children, he gets so excited thinking about all that we could experience with our family, sports, vacations, holidays and so much more. Finley needs a sibling, NEEDS one, she is so playful and dramatic she needs someone to pick on and fight with and experience all the joys of siblings. I love all my siblings, they are crazy and mean but no one else has me back like them, I know through all of life they will love me like no one else, Finley deserves that! I hope one day we get the opportunity to have another child and Finley to have a sibling.

Funny things Finley has done lately:

~She doesn't call me Mom or Ry Dad anymore, its babe or honey

~She is very clever, Ryan bought candy and she asked for one, so he said just one and handed it to her in her right hand and she opened her left hand and said just one, for her left hand!

~She has been going poop in the toilet for about 5 months now and so we got her pull ups and she has been doing so good, I am going to try real panties tomorrow.

~We were watching a movie and Ry walked out of the room, so instead of having to recap all he missed I pushed pause, Finley threw her arms out say, "oh come on, the movie," So funny!

~This may be TMI but oh well, Ry had gas the other day, and he came laughing down the stairs, really busting up and he says this to me. " Finley just smelled her first fart!" She usually just laughs and yells daddy fart ew gross. But this time she smelled it for real, she was not impressed, grabbed her nose and would not let go!!

~She also says "Hey dude" for everything

~She gives doggie loves where she just rubs her head and face against our head and face, or Kitty loves where she takes her hands and caresses you like a cat does with its paws.

~The other day she threw her hands behind her back and started jumping up and down yelling piggy piggy, and then hunched over and jumped up and yelled giraffe giraffe!

I seriously love this girl so much. So many things that we haven't written down are lost now but these are just a few hilarious things that we want to remember for when she starts dating!!

Ryan and I, this is one of our photo's we used for our engagements. In 2008 we were married, not far after this we were pregnant, a total shock. We were preventing pregnancy, it wasn't a way happy day when we got that positive, we were kinda all over the place, scared and nervous and I didn't feel ready to have a baby yet, I had just gotten married, but we were pregnant so we just took it a day at a time.
June 14 2009 we welcomed Finley Hoyt Johnson, 6lbs 7 oz, at 2:41pm. I was still scared, way more than when I found out she was coming. Its now 2 years 7 months and 1 day later, and she is our greatest joy!! We love her like crazy... its been almost one year since we started trying for another baby, ONE year, I have been told by a lot of people oh that isn't long at all, for anyone that has tried to get pregnant and it hasn't happened any length of time is a long time to them. We started trying and I thought of ya this is going to be way easy, we must be so fertile, preventing it and Finley still came, Oh ya this baby making business is no problem.... ya that's not how it has been going. We had a miscarriage in the very beginning, and then not even a day late since. I went to my Dr and he put me on fertility pills in September, those pills made me CRAZY, like almost caused a divorce crazy!!! I was not myself, I feel so bad for Ryan looking back, he is a great great man for staying around! Those pills did nothing for me, in fact they just made my monthly come early!!!! Bleh, and here we are. This post is really personal, I usually don't post things like this, but its hard, hard when you want something so bad and it doesn't happen. Or things change so drastically that you are just holding on. Ryan is baby hungry, I want Finley to have a sibling a life long friend, but here I am second guessing if I should have another one or if Finley will be my only one. Its so hard every month, every month when it doesn't happen, the disappointment and the feeling guilty that you can get pregnant....its a heartbreak every time. So now, we are just doing our thing, and if we are blessed with another child we will be so happy, but I can't get my hopes up anymore, I am going to enjoy Finley more, if she is our only one, I am going to stock up on all the moments with her!

Pictures are backwards

New years in Vegas!! Well the day after, it was my first time hanging on the strip! It was horrible at first, we forgot our stroller, so Finley was just walking around so stressful but I we went and bought one and it was way way better!! We had Christmas in Delta but the day after we went to AZ! It was wonderful, so warm and sunny!!
We went to the park while Ry and Jim, his dad, went golfing!!
Jim surprised us with a SPA DAY!! It was like magic, an hour massage, facial, pedicure, make-up, lip gloss, and our hair styled!! It was my first spa day and I needed it way bad, thank you Jim so so so much.
Finley loves Gpa!! Wouldn't let him out of her sights the whole time we were there.
Giving loves after she opened Greats present, a pretty purple towel with Finley's name on it, which she is obsessed with, she won't use any other towel now.
Yes, you are viewing this picture right...my mom in feetie jammies!!! Isn't she the cutest ever!!

Opening presents!!

Finley got a kitchen from Santa, the pans make bubbling and sizzling sounds and it comes with a phone that rings! Finley is constantly making us "lunch" its so cute!!
CHIRSTMAS MORNING!!
Opening Jammies Chirstmas eve! We had a wonderful holiday season, I love spending time with family more that anything, it was a much needed break! Love all our families!! Thank you all for everything!

For my MOM

This post is mostly for my mom, she is always telling me to update this more often!! So here is to you mom, I hope you are enjoying work! LOVE YOU.

Our niece Meah turned 4 this year so we went to her party, this is all the kids eating there cake and ice cream at Gma's house.
This is the newest bunny, Choco Milk, named by Finley!
4 Generations! Love my family
I wanted to document this, its a big day for us and we will tell Finley, and probably her dates about her Boo, as she called her binki, Well this last week we came home from the store and we were putting things away and I had an empty box of cream cheese, well Finn climbed up on the counter and she had her boo, next thing she says is garbage mom, I turned around and grabbed the box from her, she no longer had her binki, it was in the box! I told her that if we threw it in the garbage that it would be gone forever, but she just kept repeating it so I had her throw it in the garbage. October 20, 2011, the last day she had her Boo. She has asked for it but we just remind her that she threw it away. That was a lot easier than I though it was going to be!!
Ry's parents came for a visit! While they were here, we celebrated Christmas, we had a great dinner and opened gifts! It was lots of fun, Thank You!
This weekend we went hunting! Thank you Gma for making this vest for Finn, her hunter orange.
Kodiann and Finley saying Cheese for the camera.
Family photo hunting, right after we started the fire!!
Where are the Girls.
After 3 hikes we finally got a deer!! This is the hoof.
Kris's turn to drag it out. Of course KC had to hit it so far from the trucks. We had to drag this thing about half a mile. I helped KC drag it, each of us took one side of the horns for a while, up until he ran me through a sage brush which I fell onto and he just couldn't be bothered with that and up over the deer went over me! So I just ate it in the sage brush and then he runs me over with a dead deer, didn't stop to help me up, had to keep the momentum he said. That was the end of my dragging days, bruised up the whole side of my leg, I just went really fast to the trucks to get help!
Here is the beaut, it was so much fun, hiking the mountains trying to push the deer/elk out! I love the times we get to go and do these things it brings us closer as a family! and I just LOVE my family so much!!

Lately

We went to our friends wedding last weekend, it was so nice to see old friends again. We danced and danced, which I love, dancing with Ryan is one of my favorite things. It came to the end of the night and they had their wedding in this really cool old building, and we had explored into the basement, taking this old elevator down and there was boxes and boxes of shoes so at the end of the night we tied them on the back of there car. It was so funny!!!
Just a photo shoot at the wedding, my mom had Finley for the weekend so this is what we sent this to her to say goodnight, I am so grateful for my mom and all of my family, they support me and through everything and no matter what we need they are just there.
My amazing husband gave me a great surprise along with our dancing at the wedding he got us tickets to the traveling Broadway that was at the Capital theater, it was amazing!!! I love musicals and plays, I believe I got that from my Grandma, we always enjoyed going together, man I love my family!!
I was trying to study the other day and Ryan was being chatty Kathy/ singing the most random songs. So to assist him in quietness I taped his mouth shut haha we got a great laugh out of it. I started school at the end of August and have really been liking it. I am just taking two classes one has a lab, so I have school Monday thru Thursday at night.
These are our bunnies!! The white one is Gypsie, Ryan bought her at the fourth of July from Gypsie's traveling in the park!! I thought that our Gypsie was lonely so I waited til a lady was selling new ones in my home town and I went and got one. I asked Finley what she wanted to name the dark one...and with out even thinking she said Chocolate Milk!! And so we have Gypsie and Chocolate Milk.
This was the main thing about my post tonight, I didn't want to forget this today, Ryan goes to work everyday and we walk him out to his car and we each give him a kiss and a hug and then he goes to drive off and he always rolls down the window and Finley always wants one more kiss so through the passenger window she goes to get a kiss, but today she was not liking that her daddy was leaving for work. She crawled into the car and onto his lap, she cried and cried when I had to take her out of the car for him to leave. It broke my heart but at the same time made me so happy, I never had a moment like this in my life, and so I am so glad that Finley will get these precious moments most people take them for granted they always had it so they don't realize how wonderful it is to see a dad and daughter bond so tightly. Finley was pretty clinging to her dad all day, I loved it, loved seeing her hold her dad and grab at him and just wanting him close to her. She truly is a daddy's girl, and I am so glad she gets that in her life!